Fans

Fans. I have none. But sometimes I think it must be a scary life for those that do have them. People are unpredictable. I like predictability, unless or course I’m the one being spontaneous, but then it’s not really unpredictable because I’m the one in the driver’s seat.

My need for predictability has created some interesting thought processes in my brain, as evidenced by my thoughts on how I would react in the event of something unpredictable happening like an assault. Keep in mind I’ve never been attacked or hurt by a stranger before, but I have this habit of always thinking I’m one step away from a violent altercation with a meth-head or rapist.

I usually have these thoughts when I’m running. I see a bend or bridge up ahead and I start to think how I should react and how I might survive if someone attacked me or tried to throw me over the bridge. Would I try to run away before any damage was done? Could I run fast enough? Would it help it I started screaming like a banshee or talking with a mix of foreign accents to really freak them out? Would I try a reverse assault and start attacking them? What if I killed them? Would I be put away for the rest of my life for murder? Eventually the logical half of my brain tells me the chances of something like this happening to me are slim to none, so I might as well quit working myself up about it. But I find it to be a fun little thought diversion: How to survive in the face of death!

I could do it. I’ve thought about it. Have you?