Running: A Series - Part 1

This is me before I went running yesterday:

Things you can tell by this picture:
1) I am generally optimistic before starting my run.
2) I am very, very in shape.
3) I also have a perfect hourglass figure.
4) Whatever body issues you have can be completely erased in Adobe Illustrator!

Things you can’t tell by this picture:
1) It was 100 degrees when I commenced my run yesterday.

2) My guts were still recovering from the 2 bottles of wine and 2 lbs. of cheese I ate around 11pm the night prior.

3) I have been battling an insidious case of ringworm (according to my dermatologist, it's actually eczema, not ringworm! Hooray!) on by chest and back for the last month, and I think my sport bras are playing a key role in my unsuccessful recovery. They provide such a warm, tight, sweaty place for plenty of bacteria to grow! (Note to self: Burn all current sports bras.)
4) There is a black hole where my abs are supposed to reside. Well… it’s not an actual black hole, but the lack of any stability and support coming from that region put it on par with one. I really think running would be easier if I had strong abs, but that’s not enough to actually make me do crunches.
5) I have a nice, golden, summertime tan, which is both an exciting and scary scenario for a white girl like me (ya! I look good! vs. ahhh! I might die of skin cancer!).

So now you know how things in the land of Jelly have been going lately. Later I'll share the conversation my body had with itself DURING the run (it wasn't pretty). And maybe I'll even show you my mental and physical state AFTER the run (it wasn't pretty).

Good news is, the run made me skip the emotional eating and drinking I had planned for myself that night (my dear, sweet, Lovies is out of town). Sometimes I can be a glutton for punishment, but last night, I couldn't take it to that level.

Project CB - Dill Bread

Today’s weigh in: 135.6 lbs.

I can see my feet again!

Today’s culinary activities: Dill Bread.

I love all carbohydrates, but my favorite would have to be a fresh loaf of bread slathered with butter. I usually eat the entire loaf. Self-restraint is not one of my strong points when it comes to bread.

We had this Dill Bread on Thanksgiving and I’ve made it twice since. The combination of earthy dill and slightly sour cottage cheese/onion combo make it delectable (with butter of course). And it’s really easy to make!

Combine 1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast and ½ cup warm water (100°F) in a small bowl and let stand until the yeast is dissolved, about five minutes.

Combine 3 cups flour, 2 tbsp sugar or honey, 1 tsp salt, 1/4 cup finely chopped onions, and 3 tbsp fresh chopped dill in a large mixing bowl or the bowl of a mixer. Then add the yeast along with 1 tbsp margarine, 1 cup cottage cheese, and 1 large beaten egg.

Mix by hand or on low speed until the dough comes together, adding additional flour or warm water if needed. Continue by kneading dough for about 10 minutes until the dough is smooth and elastic. Transfer to an oiled bowl.

Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, 1 to 1 1/2 hours. After first rising, gently press the dough down, form into a loaf, re-cover and let re-rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour (I split my dough in two before the second rising so I could share, but sharing's not required... or recommended).

Bake 350 about 30 minutes or until done (or instant read thermometer reads about 200). Cool completely on wire rack (or not). Then enjoy!

(recipe adapted from Serena Bateman and Smitten Kitchen)

Project CB - Another Update

This morning's weigh in: 136.8 lbs.

A 1.4 lb gain! I'm moving into the big leagues!

Today's culinary activities: Walnut Thumbprint Cookies.

A girl's gotta do something to cope.

Conclusion: The cookies did not provide enough satisfaction to make me forget about my champagne butt. I think it's because these cookies are light and crispy and I wanted something big, doughy and carb loaded. But now I have something to look forward too! Perhaps I will make cinnamon rolls tomorrow...

Afterthought: If you haven't already realized, this is not a "real" diet story. I just need another outlet for my sarcasm.

Project CB - An Update

This morning's weigh in: 135.4 lbs.

This morning's culinary activities: I made corn bread and an apple pie.

Conclusion: Project Champagne Butt stands no chance during Thanksgiving week.

Afterthought: There are areas on my bottom that look like something which rhymes with mottage wheeze.

Project Champagne Butt

Everybody loves a good diet story don't they? I was thinking about calling my diet story "Project Cellulite", as gross as that sounds. But I've come up with a better title: "Project Champagne Butt"; because that's the truth of it. I have a champagne butt.

And when I'm ready to get this new diet up and running guess who's coming with me. My John Doe, my Lovies, Wes. We've all heard about Wes's "diet", the one I've supposedly put him on, and the one that had him eating 6 hot wings, 4 spiral sandwiches, ½ pan of rice crispy treats, 1 bottle of La Fin du Monde beer, ½ bottle of Riesling and almost a whole bottle of Champagne… oh and veggie sticks with guacamole… the other night. Apparently veggie sticks = diet. His reasoning is impeccable.

Since Wes isn't taking his "diet" very seriously, this could be the perfect opportunity for me to take charge of the situation. Things have gotten to detox status. It could get ugly. Stay tuned!

And for everyone who thinks dieting is stupid, here’s an easy breezy pizza recipe!

1 pizza dough (homemade is best)
1 heaping cup mozzarella
4 asparagus spears, peeled into strips
3 slices prosciutto, torn into pieces
½ cup goat cheese, crumbled.
Red pepper flakes

Roll out pizza dough. Assemble mozzarella, asparagus, prosciutto and goat cheese on top. Sprinkle red pepper flakes. Bake in 500 degree oven for 15 minutes or until edges are golden and cheese is bubbly. Enjoy!