Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Will Power

Today, while on my 3 mile run, the pain became so exceedingly unbearable that I had to think of ways to distract and motivate myself to finish - without walking. I decided it would be beneficial to compare myself to a cow. First, I would choose two letters to start the words which would describe the differences between me and a cow. Then, I would use these differences to enhance my will power, because if I succumbed to the pain and stopped running, I would have as much worth and stamina as a cow. And I definitely don’t want that to be the case.

MO – I am motivated. A cow is a moron and says moo.
DE – I am deliberate, determined. A cow is defenseless and delicious.
FO – I am focused. A cow is a fool.

And after coming up with these insightful comparisons, I tried to remember them as my body was sucking all the oxygen out of my brain. It’s very hard to remember useless comparisons, which you have just made up on the spot, while running. Believe me. But, it did make the time go faster, in a uniquely different yet equally painful way.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Headaches are like crack
And sticking a needle in your back.
Don’t know what you've got until it’s gone
And my mind’s just walked out the door.

Friday, February 5, 2010


I am a revolutionary. I ask: what is the point of living if you are not able to live the way you want? The earth has been fashioned out the stars to become the place we call home. We make the rules; we are not to be controlled by government created by zombie bureaucrats that have had their brains molded into static piles of mush. I am an animal with animal instincts. I need to eat, sleep and love. I have to fight for my place in this world using my cunning and intellect. I will sleep in the desert, traverse the rain forest, bleed in the mountains for my cause. This is only the beginning of an eruption so powerful it will shake the existence you have become so accustomed to. Take heed and be prepared for the change that lies ahead. It is ever so necessary. I will speak of my own experiences; a vivid testimony to the state of living today.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Jelly Logs

Captain's log, Stardate 2010.2.
There is much activity within the mind of the Jellyprise. Planets to explore, new races to encounter, what to eat for lunch. Her vessel is slow moving, over laden with substantial rear landing gear. It is necessary to advise the maintenance crews to immediately start working on this hindrance. I believe 50% of it could be removed and not jeopardize the integrity and safety of our mission. Where have the maintenance crews gone? … They’re on strike? Apparently the Jellyprise is an unsafe, emotionally void vessel with low pay and scarce vacation time. Captain will have to address the landing gear issue herself. There are as many issues to address as there are stars in the sky, but this is our mission. To boldly go where many women have gone before. Except we’re going to have more fun.