Behind the Scenes at the Ranch

The Ranch, my husband’s family’s homestead in Northern California and the fabulous place where we were married, is an incredible place. I could spend all day staring off into the golden fields (if it’s summer) or lush pastures (if it’s winter), being completely absorbed by its serene vastness. And although I would generally opt to do nothing while we are up at the ranch except relax (with a cocktail of course), this is often never the case. Usually there are things to do, such as the following:

Trailer improvement. This time we planted a tree! Rolling Thunder wouldn’t be a proper home if it didn’t have landscaping. At the very least, it takes away from the fact that there are still tires sitting under the house from when we first moved it. 

Listen to country music. NON-STOP. Wes bought this portable, rugged boom box so we could have music no matter where we are on the ranch, which means we listen to music NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE ON THE RANCH. This is nice most of the time, but by the time the weekend’s over and we’re heading back to LA, I’m reeling from a country music overdose and have visions of killing anyone who has the name Garth, Toby, or Taylor, and says “yeehaw”.

Pest control. Cocoa does a good job getting rid of the most heinous pests such as lizards (insert sarcasm), but the rest of the suckers, like the locusts (as in Old Testament, Moses and the Ten Plagues of Egypt locusts), have to be chemically eradicated.

Natural selection got these ones (the little yellow dots floating in the puddle underneath the cattle guard). Turns out locusts can’t swim. Silly little locusts.

Tend to the animals. So this one's not really true because the cattle on the ranch are taken care of by the cowboys and Wilhelmina here… well she's a pig. She takes care of herself.

She might take care of you too by biting off your finger, but that's just a hunch I have. Feel free to stick your finger in her pen and prove me wrong. I was too chicken to try it.

And let's not forget: Stay cool. During the summer, the temperature at the ranch reaches the high 90's and low 100's, meaning you don't want to spend much time outside except if you're in the pool. I chose to stay inside and enjoy the air conditioning. A picture of me in a bikini might make you faint, so went with this one: the view from inside Rolling Thunder.

We'll be heading up to the ranch this weekend, as it's that time of year again: blackberry picking season. I'm sure your mouth's watering in anticipation of our delicious Blackberry Holiday Hooch. It might even get better this year if we pay attention to what we’re doing. Here’s to hoping!

Bereft

I did something on May 21^st that I’ve likened to having a baby. There was lots of planning, planning, planning, then a BIG delivery, but then my baby was taken away like I gave it up for adoption. Therefore, I have been feeling a bit bereft lately.

Oh where did my baby go? 48 hours of partying was not enough.

Oh where did my baby go? She was so beautiful, wasn’t she?

It doesn’t help that my fabulous photographer sent me these few images as a tease. I want the rest!

Mini Ranch Tour: Part 2

(I had originally posted this entry earlier in the week, but somehow it disappeared. Maybe I was right about breaking Blogger with all the photo uploads, but we shall try it again.)

Shall we continue our mini ranch tour? The whole family will be heading up there this week and next for an exciting party we've planned, so it's fitting that we finish this non-comprehensive tour. Spoiler alert! There are cows. Lots of cows.

Now that we've made it to the other side of the creek, we can see how far our little trip has taken us. Out there in the distance are the two main houses. That's where the food, water, and most importantly, the champagne is stored. It's important to know the distance between you and a cold bottle of champagne at all times.

As we continue alongside the river, we see the most numerous, fuzzy, furry, meaty, stinky residents of the ranch.

The cows!

Cows, cows, cows. Excuse me. I mean steers, steers, steers.

Actually, I think this bunch is a mix of cows and steers.

I thought this shot was funny. Two white cows hanging out by themselves. Most of the cows/steers/bovine creatures on the ranch are of a darker variety, so these two are a little unusual. I'm not sure they know what to do with themselves.

Ok, cows we're coming through. We've got a ranch tour to finish!

Beep beep!

Coming through!

Generally, you're supposed to slow down when you pass by a cow on the ranch. This is because (and I hate to break it to you) cows are not the smartest creatures. They've been known to run INTO oncoming traffic.

These fellas were smart and decided to run in the opposite direction.

That's good, because I would've been pissed if they knocked us off and I spilled my champagne.

Just kidding! I had already finished my champagne by then.

(Did you see how far we were away from the house? One glass doesn't last that long.)

Due to my increasing thirst, we decided to head back to the house.

And on our way, we passed by another typical sight you see when you're out tooling around the town. Farming!

So now you've gotten a mini, non-comprehensive tour of the ranch. And I hope you've been paying attention because we will now have a quiz.

What's the difference between this one:

(Looking good)

And this one:

(Yikes!)

If you know, then you're more than ranch ready.

Mini Ranch Tour: Part I

This is by no means a comprehensive ranch tour. If I tried to take pictures of all the aspects of the ranch and upload them here on Blogger, I’d probably break the thing, and Google would give me a nasty call. So, in an effort to keep the photo overload to a minimum, I’m going to break this Mini Ranch Tour into two parts. Here’s the first part (highlights include crossing a creek!):

If you want to take a ranch tour, it’s best to find some wheels.

It also helps to have company.

I prefer to tour with these two hooligans. They're pretty good company.

If you're in the backseat, try not to notice the obvious things, like your fiancé's head blocking your view.

Look around and enjoy the natural things, like the cows,

the grass,

and the dirt. Ok, maybe this is not the most exciting part of the tour, but you have to look beyond the obvious and embrace the rawness of nature on the ranch. That is, of course, if you also consider cow poop to be part of "raw" nature. At least it's organic…

And look! We're topping out at 32 mph. Yeehaw!

You can also notice your shadow, like I did.

We're now approaching Bear Creek.

Doesn't the water look inviting?

How about we take a dip?

Pull your feet up! It's deep!

Or if you're like me, leave them down and wash off all the dirt and manure that's been accumulating on your flip flops.

It's a long way across on a 4-wheeler…

But...

We made it!

Next up, Mini Ranch Tour: Part 2. I promise there will be more cows, grass and dirt!

The Backhoe

One of the first things we built for Rolling Thunder was a pair of awnings. The winter storms that blow through the ranch can be pretty strong, so we decided awnings would be essential to keep water off of the doors and out of the house. Water has already gotten in during the few weeks we’ve been assembling the trailer, so it was important to get the backdoor awning up on this last trip. Exactly how we were going to get the awning up was yet to be determined. That thing weighs at least 600 pounds, if not more. There’s no easy way to pick it up and attach it 15 feet high. That is unless you have a backhoe.

These photos were taken after the most harrowing part.

Picture this: the awning being lifted by a backhoe with transmission problems, causing the awning to jostle up and down; two guys pulling on a big yellow strap that has been wrapped around the end of the awning, trying to keep it from falling forward; me directing Wes to “move it forward just a little more… up just a little more… you’re almost there... Crap! You’re going to have to try it again!”; Wes yelling “Don’t get under the awning! Whatever you do don’t get under it!”, and me thinking all the while “This has the potential to go very bad. I wonder where the nearest hospital is.”

Thankfully no one lost an arm and the awning was successfully attached.

These awnings are just another example of how much Rolling Thunder has become a labor of love (emphasis on the labor part).

XOXO Jelly