Wednesday, January 26, 2011

An Oldie but a Goodie

Have whatever opinions you may about Facebook, there's one thing for certain: it's an entertaining place. I think of it as a quaint little coffee shop where I can anonymously sit in a corner and enjoy the antics of the patrons. I don't go there often (too much Facebook, as with coffee, makes me feel crazy), but it's fun to see who's dating/marrying/getting drunk with who every now and again. One of my favorite things to do on Facebook is abuse the profile page. You know, add information that isn't exactly true but is entirely hilarious. Here's my most favorite example. A masterpiece I helped create for a college friend (without his consent). Enjoy!


Account Info
Name: Fred B.
(names have been changed to protect the innocent)
Member Since: February 7, 2006

Basic Info
School: UCLA
Status: Undergrad
Sex: Male

Personal Info
Interested In: Women
Relationship Status: In a Relationship
Political Views: Libertarian

Interests: getting steamrolled, reading InTouch in Ackerman, skipping (esp. to class), jumping rope, exercise videos, leg warmers, english muffins, flowin', wrapping presents, using my new George Foreman grill, stalking Tom Cruise, working on my tan, competitive eating, biftas, kissing my girlfriend's spine while she sleeps, going to Starbucks in Malibu for the occasional Britney (and baby Sean) sighting

Clubs and Jobs: Being Ridiculously Good Looking, Amateur Wresters of America Featherweight Division

Favorite Music: Kanye, MiMi, Diddy, JLo, JoJo, Aaron Carter, Lindsey Lohan

Favorite TV Shows: The Simple Life, WWF Raw, True Life I'm a Competitive Eater, Flavor of Love, Seinfeld

Favorite Movies: Gigli

Favorite Books: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus, Amateur Wrestlers of America How to Guide - Volume I

Favorite Quote:
Make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and break away - Kelly
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave you ass, she gonna leave with half - Kanye

About Me:
So I just found out that I have an evil twin. When we were babies he tried to kill me, so my parents decided to keep him chained up in the attic. I only found this out yesterday. Heavy.

People underestimate the comfort and support of tidy whities. They keep me tidy and whitey.

I just finished writing a letter to UPN. They need to make an America's Next Top Model for Men. Clearly I would win, since I look like Tom Cruise. Maybe they knew that already and don't want to pay me royalties.

And as you can see, I keep my promises. Profile updates will keep flowin!


I'm a good friend aren't I!

XOXO Jelly

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