That's a powerful phrase I used to use a lot when I was a young, single girl. But when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, that word exits your vocabulary (as does the ego you spent so much time protecting). The word that enters in its place is compromise.
In these last, increasingly stressful, exciting months until the big day I’ve tried to use that word, deal breaker, but it comes out so flat and meaningless it reminds me of my college personal statement; just a bunch of words that don’t really mean anything, even though I try to convince you I mean business.
(I may or may not have compared donating blood to being in the army… and I talked about getting tree sap on my butt).
Ok, I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to reread it. Remember in high school when you didn’t want your friends to read your personal statement because you thought they’d steal your oratory brilliance? (Or was that just me?) Well I’m not going to be insecure or selfish any longer. Here’s an excerpt from my ridiculous personal statement. It starts like so:
“As I gazed up at the night sky, and traced the outline of Orion with my finger, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I had just spent the last four days backpacking through the wilderness of Yosemite's National Park, with nothing but the pack on my back and the ten other Girl Scouts surrounding me. It had all started when I saw a flyer for a backpacking trip through Yosemite, and not wanting to pass up this amazing opportunity, I signed up hoping my desire for travel and adventure would soon be fulfilled. We had the next month to plan, prepare, and coordinate every aspect of the trip to make sure it was a success. Although sitting through an eight-hour drive to Yosemite was hard, the real test of my strength and endurance started as I stepped out of the car and strapped my pack to my back. Waking up early to see if any forest neighbors had stolen or eaten our food was followed by a ten-mile hike, setting up our new camp, filtering gallons of stream water, and making our daily meals. During the last night, as I lay in my sleeping bag with aching muscles and a body covered in tree sap, I realized how rewarding and fulfilling the last four days had been.”
Can you say classic high school BRAT? How the hell did I even get into college? Geez.
Back to my point, and I’ll keep it short and sweet: don’t threaten your loved one with a phrase like deal breaker. You’ll just sound stupid.